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Have you ever noticed the way you talk to yourself? You know that annoying little internal voice that often tells you: “You won't make it anyway... you made a mistake again... you looked like a fool..”. Have you ever wondered where this negative way of speaking to yourself comes from? The answer is simple: from the image you have of yourself.
If you see yourself as someone who isn't good, deserving, or capable enough, it's no wonder you talk to yourself like you're your own worst enemy. But what if your internal image is that of a person who is smiling, who sees themselves in a good light, as someone who’s capable and with a focus on their strengths? It would happen that your internal dialogue would be positive and motivate you instead of discouraging you.
Your thoughts, your emotions and your behaviours are in fact determined by the type of internal representation you have of yourself. It follows that if you improve your internal image, you will automatically improve the way you talk to yourself.
In the meantime, this doesn't mean you have to sit around and sit through all the negative internal buzz. Instead of passively listening to it you can take positive control over it. Here are some practical examples: if the internal voice tells you, “You made a mistake again”, you can reply, “There are no mistakes but only valuable lessons for learning and improving”; if the voice repeats, “You won't make it anyway”, you could reply, “In the meantime, I'm preparing myself as best as possible to make it”; and if it says, “You looked stupid”, you could reply, “Stupid is whoever does it”, and so on.
The trick is to intercept your internal dialogue whenever it turns negative and to reroute it constructively. By doing so, the effect of your internal chat will be motivating instead of discouraging People often stick around to have the last word in useless chit-chat.
Instead, make sure you have the last positive word with your internal dialogue, when for the umpteenth time, it repeats something negative to you.