RESILIENCE: Accept challenges and produce creative solutions. Balance is not always maintained. Things are as they are. The rest, too. The tightrope, to not to fall, swings. The continuous action.
Life taught me many things, but the most important was resilience.
One always wonders if resilience can be learned and how, but above all how and what we can learn from resilient people.
Yes, but who are resilient people?
In my opinion, people with disabilities are resilient people.
But before explaining why, the question remains the same: looking for a new definition of "resilience".
“Giulia, but how can you be so resilient? What is your strength, how do you bend and don't break? Are resilient people capable of dodging the blows of life, of those who in an obstacle course do not make them fall?”
No, asking this is wrong.
Resilient people break, too, they become livid and they too miss an obstacle race by sustaining a fall... but then what do they do and what can they do?
ACCEPT CHALLENGES AND PRODUCE CREATIVE SOLUTIONS
"Giulia, how do you do then?"
I think it can be said that the difference is that, despite the fallen obstacles, they reach the end of the race. I believe that resilience is an art, the art of knowing how to accept challenges and produce creative solutions.
Life is an obstacle course, but it is not like a race, it is worse! The obstacles are not placed on a flat track like in athletic competitions, but are placed at times uphill and at times downhill, and sometimes they also appear twice as many.
Here, this happens for everyone. In my life, as in everyone's life, I believe, there is a moment in which this race increases its level of difficulty. So, double and triple obstacles, with double frequency, all uphill and with a tight time to win the race. At this point there are two options: do not participate in the race or try everything – for doing everything and win this race.
Despite these examples, the big mystery remains how resilience can be "inculcated".
Let's jot one thing down – in black – immediately: being resilient means being elastic. It means to be dynamic. It means embracing change. This is the first rule: even if a change scares and frightens you, you do not freeze, do not be alarmed, and you do not think that balance is maintaining balance. Addressing changes, welcoming them and knowing how to manage them is really the basis, in my opinion, of resilience.
RESILIENCE IS THE ART OF ACCEPTING CHALLENGES
But how can we be proactive in the face of a change that frightens us?
The answer lies in strategizing in such fashion: you don't have to visualize the change in its entirety and complexity, but need to divide it into many small parts and behaviours, in order for it to be carried out.
It is important to start even with a very small gesture, but to do it at the precise moment in which you are living, in the proverbial, here and now.
An Alpinist not only thinks of reaching the top but has a clear modus operandi. “Thinking only of the next hand. Fact one, think and take time to decide which one will be next. Do not look up, the important thing is the handhold you need now, because that must bear all the weight to be able to go to the next one."
In life, it is the exact same thing: you have to take it one step at a time, one hand at a time, because if the hold, if the support, is not firm, they will not be able to bear the next step. And this is learned through experience. Step by step, small change after small change, you will see that at some point you will have faced the change in its entirety, without being frozen.
So even in tennis, during a game, one must think not of the next game or set or victory or possible defeat… One must think about the point… One step after another… One point after another.
Now perhaps some will say, “Sooner or later there will come an even bigger change to face. Maybe I won't succeed in that.” Here, being resilient means remembering your skills, it means being aware of your resources, present and past ones.
CHANGES ARE OVERCOME WITH ELASTICITY AND DYNAMISM
So, you have to look back and remember that you have already experienced that exact feeling of not being able to do it, of not being enough, of not being good and at least once you have already defeated that negative feeling.
Maybe you will remember that moment in particular, that exam or an overly demanding move, an admission test or how much you were in love, a job interview, a new, more important goal.
Life is made up of challenges, where rhythm and obstacles rise more and more; feelings and tasks seem increasingly difficult. In reality, however, the issues change, not our feelings: the human being tends to fallback to homeostasis and it is therefore natural to say: “No, I don't change.” However, you will understand that you have changed and renewed this change a thousand times over, and that you have grown and improved a thousand times over.